Opening my blog and clicking on the “New” button to create a post brings me such joy. It always has… long before blogging was popular, or became a profession or even a source of revenue. I miss writing my blog every single day. I prided myself in that. There was also method to my madness.
I remember when I first started reading blogs years ago. When I found a blog I loved, I’d click on it the next day to see if there was a new post and find myself disappointed when there wasn’t. If I kept returning to my favourite blog and there still wasn’t a new post, I’d start to lose interest. I decided that in order to have a blog that is followed regularly, my posts would need to be consistent & regular. It wasn’t difficult for me to find something to write about – yes way before sponsored content days. I LOVE writing and sharing experiences, products I love (sponsored or not) and little pieces of my world – it’s like a diary for me (one I have control over what is shared/not shared, and I love being able to go back into my archives and seeing the trips I’ve been on before and other exciting moment’s I’ve had, for example.)
I don’t know what I was thinking (I had no idea basically) when I thought I’d be able to continue my work load with a new baby. Ha! I remember my Mommy friends asking me how I was going to manage things, while I will still pregnant and I remember naively saying, “Oh I’ll manage to get my daily content out… it shouldn’t be a problem.”
The look on their faces should have given me fair warning. I was blissfully unaware.
HAHAHA! I’m laughing at my no-idea-what-having-a-baby-would-actually-be-like self.
I guess I had every intention, but reality is very, very different.
The problem is every day that goes by and I haven’t done a blog post, I feel more and more guilty. Oh my God… the guilt on EVERYTHING!! It’s a real thing, this guilt. It needs to stop and yet… as a Mom, it will never really go away.
I always think back to my blog reading habits and think: Argh, if I got annoyed when I saw no new blog post, I can only imagine my audience feeling the same. Is my audience even coming back, after a while of seeing nothing new? I’m too nervous to go onto Google Analytics.
I think the idea that I have my mornings free and just work in the afternoon between 3-6pm is preposterous. There’s a good word. Preposterous.
My days are filled with trying to juggle Georgie’s needs and wanting to spend quality time with him; whilst still ensuring my career is focused on. It’s not only finding time for voice overs and meetings, but also producing 90% of the Afternoon Drive’s show prep, recording elements and presenting the live show. To be honest, I feel like I am just keeping my head above water.
My blog, that brings me such joy to write, has been the thing I’ve cut down on and I’ve been really sad about it. With that said, however, I’ve still managed to get out some posts for clients and not drop the ball too much with that. BUT… my Blog never started out as a revenue source, nor was it just about product. It didn’t have sponsors and clients… it was my personal sliver of the internet and I really enjoyed how it organically grew into a side revenue source, thanks to the organic readership growing, whilst still keeping the essence of the blog alive with personal posts and experiences. I liked the balance of the sponsored posts vs the non- sponsored posts.
I tearfully said to Sox the other day that I thought I might need to stop blogging all together and he was the first person to recognise that I’d be more upset by doing that.
“You love blogging. You can’t stop something you love.”
“I know, but I also LOVE Georgie and I love my career. Something has to give. I just don’t have time for everything, let alone myself. I feel like I’m just not doing anything well… I’m just doing enough to get by and I almost don’t recognise myself.”
“You’ve always been all or nothing, so I can understand why this is hard for you, but perhaps you need to relook at things. Your all or nothing needs to be seen differently – your priorities need to be refocused and new boundaries set. You’re an amazing Mom and Wife, you’re a great friend, you haven’t dropped the ball at work, at all, in fact, you’re a champion. You’re way too hard on yourself… You’re doing amazingly. ”
Cue more tears.
So after more chats, I’ve decided to relook at things. I have decided that my all or nothing standards aren’t necessarily wrong, because they propel me forward, but for the love of all things good… I need to give myself a break. Sigh of relief. I need to remind myself that I am just ONE person, doing my utmost best. That is my new all or nothing. My All is simply doing my best, even if my best is 70% at times.
I cannot possibly get out daily blog posts anymore, and immediately I feel a bit relieved to tell you, so I don’t feel the guilt in knowing you’re probably coming back to nothing new. I’m going to aim to get a minimum of 2 blog posts out a week. It will be a great week, if I manage to do more, but I won’t pressurise myself.
I’m also going to get back to basics. I’m not going to rely so much on getting client content out only, and what I mean by that, is I’m going to get out posts about things I really love, my personal posts, my Life Lately posts, my Links I Love posts and others. My blog posts might be shorter than usual, but it will be better than nothing. I feel better about taking this pressure off a daily blog post and much better about not closing the blog all together.
Thank you if you’ve stuck by my blog and continued to come back even when there hasn’t been a new post in a while… Thank you for understanding. I hope you’ll continue to pop in weekly!