I woke up with this urge to write. I don’t know what to write about, but the urge has been so strong, that I find myself on autopilot, opening up this blog of mine that I’ve had for years. I love that I have this space as it impatiently waits for me to return. I watched the cursor blinking at me, willing me to type, and so I’ve done just that. Started typing – about nothing at all, but hopefully something.

Let’s keep going and see what happens, shall we?

Last night in Cape Town, the wind howled and the rain lashed angrily at my windows. At one stage, the rain was so loud I actually woke up. That’s saying something for someone who can sleep through almost anything. Well almost anything… If one of my children call out, cry or move, I’m instantly awake, but loud noises, alarms or anything else? I’m Sleeping Beauty.

The rain and wind was so loud, I kept waiting to hear a call out of “Mommy!” or the pitter patter of bare feet ,on carpet, from my little boys shared bedroom, to ours. It didn’t come and as the rain calmed down, it lulled me back to sleep.

This morning I’ve woken up to confetti leaves strewn all over my garden, a very soggy dog pillow we left outside by mistake, and the sun desperately trying to peek out from the thick, grey clouds. I absolutely adore the view we have from our home, come rain or shine. It is something that I take in every single day and never for a minute, take for granted. There’s always something new to see, from new ships or cruise liners coming in or departing, to seeing when the Cape Wheel is in operation – either stationary or slowly turning – beautifully lit at night. The view looks so different depending on the time of day, or weather, which can change from minute to minute.

Today, as I sip my black coffee, I’m staring out at the ocean – as grey as the sky and frothy. I would not want to be onboard any ship out there right now. The birds that are brave enough to fly in this, are flying past erratically and much faster than usual, understandably. Everyone, but my 4 and a half year old (the ‘-and-a-half’ is very important) is still asleep and I’m going to miss our lazy mornings. He’s cuddled up on the couch, under his blanket with his “coffee”, warm hot chocolate and sleep hair sticking out. There’s no rushing to get breakfast made, lunchboxes packed or changing clothes, which is what tomorrow will be all about.

I’m stalling going into my alarm clock settings on my phone. I have an alarm set for 06:00 that I’ve scheduled to go off on weekdays. I’ve tried to fool myself in even naming it “SCHOOL FUN”, so that when I see it, it hopefully sets a good tone.

I remember on the 14th of June, not stalling for a second, as I opened up my phones clock app and gleefully turned it off. No more 6am alarms for a good 3+ weeks. How exciting.

It feels like 5 minutes ago.

With the last day of school holidays, I feel a mixture of sadness and relief. Sadness because my boys are at an age, where it’s really fun to hang out with them and we can do so many things together. I feel relief because I’ve not been able to do much for myself at all. Running a business, creating content for clients, asking children to keep quiet so I can quickly film something that needs sound… it’s been tricky to manage.

I heard this just last week: “Ages and stages…” a reminder that nothing is forever and this is an age and a stage where they’re little and need me so much. One day they won’t want to hang out with Mom all the time. I mean, I hope they will, but let’s be a little realistic too. I hope they’ll always find it fun to hang out with ol’ Mom.

3+ weeks have flown and we’ve done such fun things, yet I still have a list of things we never got around to. I’m so tired of saying that ‘time is flying’, but it’s the cliche for a reason.

July. 8 days in already. Term 3 of Grade 1 and the last year of Nursery school beginning tomorrow. We’re still so fresh in school, and yet I don’t understand how they’re not still in nappies. How’s this for another cliche? Time is a thief.

My 4 (and a half) year old is starting to get hungry and my 7 year old is starting to wake, which means it’s time for me to close this laptop and begin the last day of our June/July holiday. We have no plans, but we’ll do something together as a family and I cherish that.

I must admt, this has felt really good to feel the laptop keys under my fingers typing my inner thoughts and not invoices, e-mails and to-do lists.
I can either Save Draft, where this will go along with the other 38 drafts I’ve written and never published… or I can just publish this, with zero expectation of anyone reading this. Let’s see…