Marriage Advice

Sox and I are exactly 2 weeks away from getting married (pinch me!) and while planning this wedding has been amazing/stressful/extremely stressful/exciting, we have really tried to keep a constant reality check on focusing on what is important.

It hasn’t always been easy. It is very easy to get wrapped up in all the plans and the never-ending to-do list.

You can’t help but have all your attention focused on the flowers, the dress(es), the seating plans, the accommodation, the food and so on – which is obviously important, but I feel that couples planning weddings can quite easily forget about what’s really important: Focusing on the marriage.

In essence, all this planning is for one day, and in our lucky case, 2 days and there isn’t really any emphasis on the day after – the day I consider as the first day of our marriage.

After all, I want a marriage more beautiful than our wedding and it’s about remembering why we got married in the first place.

As we get closer to the 4th and 5th of March, I’ve been looking at a lot of marriages and couples that surround us and inspire us.

I always ask them: What is the secret to a lasting, happy marriage? We have received some amazing advice and I would love to share it with you.

Dimitra and George Georgiades (Sox’s Mom and Dad): Married on the 9 January for 44 years.

Love and respect each other and keep the lines of communication open. Strive to understand the other person and try to find a solution, rather than pointing out the wrongs. You need to be prepared to look after each other in the hard times, in sickness and to always be there for one another.

Dimitra and George Georgiades

Dimitra and George Georgiades

Jenny and Charles Schneider (My Mom and Dad): Married on the 26 May for 37 years.

From Mom:

Never expect the person you married to remain the same. Allow that person to follow their passion, grow and extend themselves into who they are meant to be. Growth is a teacher and builds the character and wholeness, which contributes to you both along the way. Respect that in each other.

From Dad:

You can’t actually put anything in writing on marriage advice in a few words. Marriage and my relationship with your Mom has evolved over many years, the seven years we went out before we got married and the 36 years that we have been married (this year it will be 37 years on the 26th May). Marriage is a feeling, marriage is family, marriage is co-operation, marriage is sharing (sharing everything in your partnership from cleaning to cooking to … well everything), marriage is acceptance of your partner’s strengths and weaknesses, marriage is forgiveness, marriage is being there, marriage is being yourself and being accepted for being you, marriage is exciting, marriage can be sad, marriage is funny and full of laughter, marriage is being your partner and being yourself, marriage evolves as you both change, marriage is everything you want it to be and often it is so much more. Marriage is love.

Jenny and Charles Schneider

Jenny and Charles Schneider

Merle and Tony Wiesenbacher: Married on the 4 October for 36 years.

Tony said: “There is no room for ego. If you always want to be right, then it won’t work. You have to set your ego aside and your relationship will be wonderful.”

Tony and Merle Wiesenbacher

Dave and Ingrid Roding-Tudor. Married on the 15th of Jan for 11 Years.

We have found a couple of key things in our marriage: Always love each other first and foremost. Respect each other. Understand each other and find patience through the trying times!

Marriage is a journey. It has ups and downs and winding paths. It s journey of self-discovery, the road together is a beautiful one and there are massive rewards along the way.

Ingrid, Hayley, Dave and Chloe
Bernice and Ricky Dos Ramos. Married on the 20 March for 11 years.

Well, my most amazing parents, who still hold hands after a lifetime of marriage (so sweet) always gave me the advice to put your husband first in your family. It’s so easy to be a people pleaser, not only around friends, but with children. 

I wish I could remind myself of this daily… It really is true. Give that time that is so needed in our busy lives, to our spouses. 

Never be too busy to greet each other or say goodbye by looking each other in the eyes, date nights, his favourite home cooked meal for just the two of you. It’s the small things that count , by putting him first!”

Bernice and Ricky

Ricky and Bernice Dos Ramos

 Karolina and Filip Rafalski. Married on the 29 March for 8 years.

When I asked them, Filip’s cheeky advice was “Don’t get divorced!” and Karolina’s response to that was, “Answer your wife’s phone calls!’

They went on to say that their advice is to avoid screaming at each other when getting into arguments. The more that emotions are flared up, the greater the chances are of saying something you may regret. Always speak in a respectful manner to each other, because once you have spoken those words, you can never take them back. Words are the most powerful weapon to man, they can hurt deep into the soul, and that’s the last thing you want to do to the person you love the most. Use your words to touch souls and to deepen the connection, not hurt them.Karolina and Fil

Such inspiration. Do you have any marital advice to share with Sox and I? I’d love to read your comments.

Share on
Previous Post Next Post

You may also like


  • Reply Kammi

    12 years on … my best advise. Pick you fights. Do you really want to get into an argument over the toothpaste lid? Do you really want to sour your day, and spend the entire day being annoyed? How easy is it to just put the lid back on yourself? (This goes for all the little annoying habit we all have to put up with when sharing our lives with someone else) He was probably thinking of other things, things to better your life and home… Debate (!) the real things. Never fight. Tell each other everyday how you feel …

    February 19, 2016 at 7:58 am
    • Reply Kammi

      oh and lastly and probably most important, treat him with the same dignity and respect you want from him! its always give and take.

      February 19, 2016 at 8:00 am
  • Reply Megan Keith

    I loved reading this post – such sound advice from everyone! We’ve been married for 6 years and the biggest thing we’ve found is to always communicate. talk about everything. Don’t let something that is bugging you fester until it becomes this huge issue. Talk about everything openly and calmly. It’s not always easy, and it is something we are still trying to master, but since we have become more aware of it, our marriage has gotten stronger.

    Also, I love how you two are doing your best to focus more on the marriage. The wedding is important. Don’t get me wrong. But it is only one (or 2) days. Make it a special beautiful day. But don’t forget about the marriage that follows. I love how you have done that!

    All the best with the final bits of planning! X

    February 19, 2016 at 8:30 am
  • Reply Angela von Brughan

    So exciting! Enjoy every moment. Just some advice I received from my Grandfather (I’ve been married 5 years), he gave the same advice to my siblings and to my folks. My grandparents have been married 62 years and my folks 41 years. It goes as follows:

    “When you get married there is no such thing as I and Me, only Us and We. When you get married “you” no longer exist as you now start living for your partner. Marriage is not 50/50 it’s 100/100. Always give 100% in everything you do for your partner and marriage. In the end if your partner is happy, you will be happy. Listen! Don’t just hear what your wife/husband says, listen to what they have to say and try and understand how they feel. Be attentive! Don’t just go about your day to day life without looking at how your wife/husband is behaving, sometimes actions speak louder than words. Fall in love with your wife/husband every day. No person remains the same, each person evolves/changes. Remember you change too. Don’t get caught up in life and the kids, always make time for each other, even if it’s just to have a cup of tea together at the end of the day. Never go to bed angry, even if it means staying up until 3am to resolve the issues. Always say I love you when when you leave each other, you never know if it’s the last time you see each other…”

    I could go on and on with more advice he gave us but I think the above pretty much covers everything 🙂

    Good luck for the next two weeks!

    February 19, 2016 at 9:29 am
  • Reply Gillian

    My Boerewors have been married for 17 years and what I would say is that you have to talk and keep talking. Never give up communicating….you always have to be on the same page (especially when kids come along). Make the choice every day to respect and love each other. Be each others best friend…you need to be each others cheerleader because it’s the best feeling in the work when you always have the support of someone who “has your back”. All the very best for your big day and I wish you endless love and blessings for your marriage. Xxx

    February 19, 2016 at 12:02 pm
  • Reply Gillian

    My Boerewors and I have been married for 17 years and what I would say is that you have to talk and keep talking. Never give up communicating….you always have to be on the same page (especially when kids come along). Laugh and always remember the reasons why you are getting married. Make the choice every day to respect and love each other. Be each other’s best friend…you need to be each other’s cheerleader, because it’s the best feeling in the world when you always have the support of someone who “has your back”. All the very best for your big day and I wish you endless love and blessings for your marriage. Xxx

    February 19, 2016 at 12:08 pm
  • Reply hayley

    It is so exciting that you will soon be a Mrs! I have been married for 6 years and a few bits of advice that have really helped me are:
    Focus on the good in your husband/wife and not always the bad, there is always so much to be grateful for.
    Talk. Share how you are feeling with each other, neither of you are able to read minds so talk about what’s going on.
    Be ready to say sorry- don’t just let attitudes, or comments be brushed under the carpet but humble yourself and say sorry, this is a big one!
    Lastly and I think most importantly is that Jesus needs to be the centre.
    All the best!

    February 19, 2016 at 12:19 pm
  • Reply Abby

    Such a special post! Absolutely love the new look of your blog too Bailey!


    February 19, 2016 at 3:41 pm
  • Reply Nat

    I love this post! So much married bliss 🙂
    If I can give you my advice (14 years married, together for 21) it would be:
    Appreciate each other… always say thanks for even the tiniest things
    Tell each other you love each other at least once a day
    Some say you should never go to bed angry, and problems should be sorted before you go to bed…but I think that, after a night’s sleep, things always seem better and something that seemed huge the night before is suddenly not even worth mentioning, let alone staying up all night arguing about!
    Most of all, make each other laugh as often as possible and never take yourselves too seriously 🙂

    Wishing you and Sox all the very best for the future…. I think you have the most wonderful future ahead of you…

    February 19, 2016 at 8:18 pm
  • Reply Kate

    my best friend and I have been married for 13yrs (this year will be 14) I am very independent and at first it was hard but what I have learnt above everything else marriage is about compromise and I also agree pick your fights let go of the little things. its so not worth it. enjoy your day it will filled of memories that would last you a lifetime:)

    February 22, 2016 at 12:54 pm
  • Reply Vanilla Blonde - Thankful Thursday: My Parents - Vanilla Blonde

    […] my favourite couples for some marriage advice. You should read my parents, especially today… Marriage AdviceI remember seeing this years ago and it’s resonated with me ever since… Isn’t […]

    May 26, 2016 at 7:26 am
  • Leave a Reply