I’ve noticed something this year and perhaps it’s one of the lessons I need to learn.
I need to stop assuming things.
There have been so many occasions where I have assumed something, with what I think is logical accuracy, only to find out that it wasn’t quite so.
One of the things I’ve been doing lately is assuming everyone is busy and unavailable. The other day I realised quite depressingly, that I haven’t spoken to some of my friends in a while. These are some of my closest friends from Johannesburg. They’re the friends I can call up at 3am if I need a good cry and vice versa, they’re the ones who will grow grey and old with me and giggle about our crazy, wonderful pasts.
Here’s the thing though… I may not have spoken directly to them but I know everything that has been going on with them. I know what they’re doing, what their latest purchases have been, the restaurants they’ve been to, when they’ve been on holiday, who they have been hanging out with thanks to “Ellen Selfies” and its all thanks to Social Media.
It’s actually shocking.
We stay connected, I suppose, but indirectly.
I sound like the worst friend ever, but on connecting with a some of bests, we came to the mutual realisation that we knew what was happening in each others lives, but not thanks to an exchange.
We both confessed that we thought of one another all. the. time, but did either of us know that?
No, because we both kept assuming that we couldn’t or shouldn’t call in because the other one was probably too busy. This isn’t anything that either of us has taken personally, it’s just that it’s been a mutual understanding even though- yet again – it’s never been directly confirmed.
It’s terrible, because the reality is, yes we all have busy lives, but we are never too busy for the important people in our lives.
We’ve promised that there will be no more assuming.
I’ve made a conscious decision that when I do think of a friend, I’m going to drop them a quick message or even a quick phone call to let them know that I’m thinking of them (and not assume that they just know), to let them know how much they mean to me or just to simply say “Hello.”
Tell the people in your life how much you appreciate them and connect with them face to face or via voice. Tell them you’re thinking of them. Don’t assume they just know.
And on that note… I have to tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time out of your crazy, busy, wonderful lives to visit this blog and sometimes even leave comments. It means the absolute world to me.