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Pregnancy: Loving, Not Loving, Looking Forward to

I am over the half way mark, by 6 days. Tomorrow I am officially 21 weeks. Baby G will be the size of a carrot – a 26cm carrot. I don’t have the exact size, but that’s the apparent standard estimate of babies this week, measured from head to feet. The other app I have, says that Baby G is the size of a cantaloupe.  

I’ve started feeling movement, which is pretty amazing! In fact I felt the first flutters  super early, around week 16, but then I didn’t feel anything again until the 20th week. I was actually a bit worried, so we had a quick scan at week 19 and saw that he had moved. Baby G is a snuggler – snuggled into the back of my Placenta, so that’s why I wasn’t feeling anything. Poor Sox can’t feel the kicks yet, but over the next few weeks they’ll only get stronger and then my stomach will apparently start moving and he’ll be able to feel. Yay!

LOVING:

  • Not having to hold in my tummy. It’s glorious. I’ve actually found myself instinctively and automatically sucking my stomach in (attempting to) for photos and then I realize, when I physically can’t, that I don’t have to. It’s a wonderful feeling. Honestly, I’ve never ever shown my tummy in any photos ever, because it was never “flat/skinny enough” and ironically now that it’s bigger, I’m so proud of it. 
  • I’m also wearing tighter clothes. I’ve had dresses in my cupboard that I’ve never worn because I was conscious of the lumps or my imperfect-not-flat-tummy. I’m rocking them now and proud of my bump. It’s also made me look back at photos of myself pre-bump and think: “I can’t believe you thought you were fat!”
  •  I’ve never been more aware of my body or more proud of my body. Sure, I have days when I feel whale-like and have concerns about how my body will look post baby, but those thoughts also seem more shallow now than ever before, because it doesn’t actually matter – as long as Baby G is healthy. Ah, yes there’s the cliché. Clichéd but true. The reality is I have newfound respect for my body because I am in awe with how our organs move, our ribs move to accommodate and how my body still has to do all it’s normal functions, as well as grow a human. It’s a miracle.
  • My skin, nails and hair. It could be all the vitamins I’m taking, but my hair and skin is behaving so nicely. I haven’t had any major breakouts, which usually occurred once a month. My nails have always grown fast, but they’re out of control now and I’m trimming them once a week, instead of every 2-3 weeks.
  • Not having my period monthly. I was an early bloomer, so I got my period at 11 years old and have never missed one. It’s been wonderful not to buy tampons or even worry about that time of the month.
  • The healthy cravings, like peeled oranges and other fruits, glasses of milk, pickles, fish and olives.
  • Gaining knowledge daily. Pregnancy is a whole new world. It’s not something you can prepare for (other than taking vitamins ahead of time and during) and every day is a new opportunity of learning something. I thought I “knew a lot” thanks to all the Mommy friends I have, but you only start to really understand when you go through each weeks milestone. Also, 8 weeks ago, I couldn’t have named one brand of pram or car seat or anything like that, but now I feel like you could test me! Haha! I know their dimensions, weights and so on. It’s hilarious.
  • Keeping a hand written journal from the very day I found out. I’m writing my whole experience down – the funny things that have happened, the cravings, my excitement and so on. Sox has even written little entries. I’m keeping it to give Baby G one day. 

NOT LOVING:

  • Relaxin Hormone. I didn’t realize how prominent it is. I’ve been LOVING doing my Preggy Pilates twice a week and 4-5kms Prom walks every other day. It’s made me feel strong and the exercise endorphins have been great. However, I over did an inner thigh and glute exercise and as a result I’ve pulled my groin and pelvic area, which goes into the back of my knee too. I’m hobbling along and have to rest it. So incredibly painful and I can’t take any painkillers. I know I’m allowed Panado’s, but they are like smarties for me and I’d actually rather not take anything.
  • The naughty cravings. They’re very hard to control and the problem is once I start, I can’t really stop the bad things. Pregnancy is easy to use an excuse. I don’t believe in eating for 2 – it’s not necessary, but I did relax a little and I, for example, had that cupcake (my Birthday) and popcorn because I had a craving for that. The problem is, it put the sugar and carbs back in my body and it’s made me question: Is it a craving, or is it a craving for the sugar I’ve reintroduced into my body? I’ve also had a weird craving for McDonald’s McChicken. I haven’t eaten McDonalds in over 4 years, so it just makes me wonder how the cravings really work and if they’re really because my body/baby needs it. I always feel incredibly guilty, which I don’t think is healthy either. I’d love to find out more.

    New Years Eve Dessert Towers

  • The judgmental remarks. I knew they were coming, but again, you can’t prepare. I have been told that there is an above 80% chance of dying on the table, if I attempt a natural childbirth. It’s because the big Fibroid I have is in a position that can cause major problems and also rupture my Uterus. The safer option for me and for Baby G is a C-section. When I’ve been asked about my birthing plan, and I’ve told people, they’ve looked at me suspiciously and said: “Hmmm… I don’t know. I’d get a second opinion. I mean, these doctors these days just want to push C-sections on us all. It doesn’t sound right to me! It sounds like a cop out.” It’s infuriating. I have one of the best doctors around. I adore him and his #1 priority is our safety. It’s so hard to bite my tongue and not say: “Yes, because you’ve seen my case, all my scans, been there for the bleeds and scares, know that I’m being monitored for Red Degeneration AND studied medicine!!” But, I don’t. I just politely smile and assure them that he knows what he’s doing and I trust him.
  • The silly comments. I am fully aware that they’re not meant with any malice. However, it’s hard not to get stopped in your tracks when you hear it. No woman wants to hear this (regardless of being pregnant) “You’re HUUUUGE! I can’t believe you’re only half way! Woah!” ………… Thank you. Thank you very much for making me feel freakish and hippo like. The same goes for girls who just don’t show. They look like they’ve eaten a pea. I’ve had friends cry because of the comments: “You’re tiny! Are you sure you even have a baby in there?” – all said in jest, all a laugh, but for them, all they want is a big bump. We are weird by nature, aren’t we? Those with curly hair want straight, those with brown eyes want blue – you get the idea. I will say that I’ve learned everyone carries differently. Your uterus position, the way the baby lies, where the placenta is – it all depends and it all doesn’t matter.  Are you healthy? Is baby healthy? Then that’s what matters. Side note: I have an 6,5cm Fibroid pushing my uterus out even further. So there’s that too. All I can say to those who dare to venture there with the comments, you’re very brave with all those hormones circulating inside.
  • Little to zero patience. I don’t know what it is and I’m definitely going to blame the hormones (again), because ordinarily I have a lot of patience for people. I’m not talking about impatience on timing; I’m talking about impatience with people. Silly comments, long queues, bad drivers, loud chewing, stupidity. I find myself often breathing deeper and trying to not get overly irritated over silly things.
  • The anxiety. I think it’s normal to wonder if I’ll be a good Mom, how I’ll juggle my career and being a Mom, especially because I’m an all or nothing type of person. How I’ll manage on little sleep. How sore a C-section really is. If I’ll be able to breastfeed (I really want to) and I also know that these are all silly things that actually are out of my control and I won’t know until Baby G arrives. It’s made me realize that I’m a bit of a control freak, so it’s been a massive lesson for me too. I’m learning to surrender.

LOOKING FORWARD TO:

  • Feeling the kicks more and seeing my tummy actually move. Everyone says you’ll get to see an elbow or a foot stick out. That must be alien freaky, but amazing.
  • Setting up the nursery. I’m so excited for this. I know it will become my favourite room in our apartment. I have a few things already, but since our guest room is turning into the nursery, I can’t do anything 100% properly, because we still have a few guests coming to stay with us. Everything is just stored in it at the moment.
  • The Nesting phase. I cannot wait to start going through the cleaning phase. I LOVE the minimalist looks (you’ll see this in my Home Sweet Home Pinterest board), but I’m actually a hoarder. Sigh. I’m certainly feeling it a bit of the nesting begin – I’m being more ruthless with things now. However, now that I’m sore, I can’t really move around much.
  • Our 23 week assessment. It’s the next big scan on 08 March. My Mom is flying down for it too, so I’m quite excited (and a little nervous.)

 

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32 Comments

  • Reply katef

    Ah man I just love reading your pregnancy updates and I LOVE the bump pics you’ve included ❤ What an incredible time and thank you for bringing us all along on this journey with you! xxx

    February 21, 2017 at 12:21 pm
    • Reply BaileySchneider

      Thanks Kate – thanks for being a part of the journey and reading it! Means a lot to me x
      How are you?

      February 21, 2017 at 1:34 pm
      • Reply KateF

        I’m well thanks for asking x

        Recently made the move back to JHB so still in the settling in phase. It’s definitely not Cape Town that’s for sure! But it’s been amazing to be back near my parents

        February 22, 2017 at 8:27 am
  • Reply Esti Le Roux

    I love reading these posts of yours! It takes me back to my pregnancy – and yes, my little guy is only 7 weeks old but the pregnant phase already feels like ages ago. The cliche really is true that time flies with a little one!

    Oh dear, the comments re natural vs childbirth, breast vs bottle… unfortunately I can’t tell you that it will get better. I had an emergency c-section and after a week of trying had to give up breastfeeding too – and the guilt completely overwhelmed me. I still experience it every now and then but I try to tell myself that all that matters is that my boy was born safely, that he is healthy and fed and happy. It sounds like you are carefully considering making EXACTLY the right decisions for YOUR BODY and YOUR BABY and that is all that matters!

    Enjoy the last half of the pregnancy – it is truly such a blessed time.

    February 21, 2017 at 12:29 pm
    • Reply BaileySchneider

      Congrats on your little guy! So sweet! How’s it going?
      Argh – the judgey comments are THE WORST but I try to take them in my stride!
      I think that every Mom (new or not) is doing the very best they can and we should all high-5 each other! x

      February 21, 2017 at 1:32 pm
  • Reply Caley

    LOVED this post my friend – and I resonated with so many too! We really do think so similarly…
    Peoples comments and remarks are my worst!!! And I just love the amazing effect on hair, nails and skin 🙂
    x

    February 21, 2017 at 12:29 pm
    • Reply BaileySchneider

      We really do think the same! You’re looking amazing – so soon now for you and I’m so glad you’re out of hospital now! xxxx

      February 21, 2017 at 1:28 pm
  • Reply Heidi van Heerden

    I love reading your blogs Bailey, they really are a lot of fun and make me smile. I think you look fabulous… it’s a very special time and life would be so much easier if people would sometimes think before they speak… I had a good laugh at your not loving “Zero lack of patience…especially Loud chewing :)” that’s me everyday 🙂 lot’s of deep breathing and moving on happening for me…

    February 21, 2017 at 12:32 pm
    • Reply BaileySchneider

      Hahaha Heidi, yes I must be honest, preggy or not, the chewing loudly irritates the sh!t out of me! Thanks for the comment – means a lot x

      February 21, 2017 at 1:28 pm
  • Reply Megan Hartwig

    Loving reading this blog about your pregnancy, enjoy every moment of it 😉 x

    February 21, 2017 at 12:43 pm
    • Reply BaileySchneider

      Thanks Megan! I’m loving the journey!

      February 21, 2017 at 1:23 pm
  • Reply Pat Ketley

    Bailey you are absolutely glowing! A beautiful pregnant mommy

    February 21, 2017 at 1:08 pm
    • Reply BaileySchneider

      Thank you Pat! Appreciate it!

      February 21, 2017 at 1:21 pm
  • Reply Tanya

    I really enjoy reading about your pregnancy journey. I think you look amazing and as for people and their insensitive comments just smile and ignore them! Xxx

    February 21, 2017 at 1:10 pm
    • Reply BaileySchneider

      Smile and wave, that’s always my policy! Haha! Thanks Tanya and thanks for always leaving such lovely compliments. I look forward to them x

      February 21, 2017 at 1:17 pm
      • Reply BaileySchneider

        I meant comments… but you’re always complimentary! Hahaha!!

        February 21, 2017 at 1:17 pm
  • Reply Mariska

    I just love your updates!!! Thanks for sharing your personal life with us. Its so special.

    I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I had my second baby 6 months ago and the things you are feeling is still fresh to me. Embrace this pregnancy. Its such a gift from God. Enjoy enjoy enjoy!!!

    February 21, 2017 at 1:19 pm
    • Reply BaileySchneider

      Thank you Mariska! Congrats on your baby! It’s great to know that these feelings are normal and that we’re all not alone! x

      February 21, 2017 at 1:50 pm
  • Reply Louise

    Awww, I LOVED this post – so honest! I love your pics taken in the same dress and pose – my gosh, you have stayed the same throughout, just your tummy has grown, as it should! You look gorgeous and I LOVE how this has made you love your body more. Reading this reminds me of my own fears/thoughts/feelings when I was pregnant.

    February 21, 2017 at 1:42 pm
    • Reply BaileySchneider

      Thanks Louise!! Really appreciate it – glad to know the feelings are normal! xx

      February 21, 2017 at 1:44 pm
  • Reply Wedaad

    Bailey!
    I am absolutely loving your pregnancy updates, it’s like i am reliving those amazing moments… it gets better and better every second of everyday and the best part is… it’s never going to end!!! Enjoy every second, i miss being pregnant but i also love watching Farah grow…. super excited for the rest of ypur jpurney and look foreard to catching up here xx lots of love

    February 21, 2017 at 2:59 pm
  • Reply Karen

    What a magnificrnt journey.

    Sending so much love to you and Baby G.

    Xxx Karen

    February 21, 2017 at 3:39 pm
  • Reply Michelle

    Hi, Bailey
    I am absolutely loving reading your Vanilla Blonde and all your updates about your pregnancy , giving good tips …
    You always have nice things to say

    February 21, 2017 at 6:47 pm
  • Reply Vanessa

    You look absolutely gorgeous!
    People are, unfortunately, filled with unsolicited advice when you’re pregnant (I should know – I’m due this week) 🙂
    Just smile and wave – whether you breastfeed or not, have a c-section or natural – do what’s best for you and your little family. Xx

    February 21, 2017 at 6:49 pm
  • Reply Michelle

    Hi Bailey
    I am absolutely love reading the messages and pregnancy updates such good advice, along with all your journey ahead and happy ones too

    February 21, 2017 at 6:53 pm
  • Reply Danica

    Such a gorgeous pregnant lady! Wow!!! I hope I look half as beautiful as you one day when it is my turn (although honestly I am not in a hurry right now 🙂 )

    As for the comments… at the end of the day I feel that people should remember they are not in your shoes and every single person is different with unique circumstances. Your health, happiness and safety as well as that of Baby G is the most important thing in the world… regardless what anyone thinks you and Sox must do what you feel is best.

    Xx

    P.S. I am thoroughly enjoying your pregnancy… love the way you write – so warm and down to earth which makes a lot of your blog feel like a letter written just to me.

    February 21, 2017 at 6:58 pm
  • Reply Paulina

    So true, felt much the same way when I was carrying my baby, its all worth it in the end and everything you worried about becomes irrelevant when you are holding this gorgeous child in your hands. You mentioned you want to breastfeed, great book is womanly art of breastfeeding to read up about it and maybe chat to a lactation consultant/La Leche League beforehand. I quite naively thought it would be so easy put baby on booby and baby will feed…so natural, how hard can it be?!? I was quite mistaken and wish I did more research prior to her arrival, it would have prepared me more for what’s normal as part of the process. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy wishing you all the best xxx

    February 21, 2017 at 7:37 pm
  • Reply Jodie

    Hmmm…I saw a reference to a “he” somewhere in the blogpost – do you know baby’s sex already? This post makes me miss being pregnant so much. I enjoyed both of my pregnancies and really hope that I get to experience it again (hubby isn’t budging on baby number 3 though – darn it!!). Enjoy the next half…

    February 22, 2017 at 5:56 am
  • Reply Natasha Viljoen

    Aaah, I love your preggy posts Bailey! You are looking radiant!

    February 22, 2017 at 6:28 am
  • Reply Victoria

    Beautiful, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m 35 weeks pregnant and I really needed your words today. Just signed up for your newsletter, looking forward to reading more articles. Much love, thanks and best of luck to you x

    February 28, 2017 at 12:23 pm
  • Reply Sandy

    I feel so emotional reading this!
    I have two little girls so no more babies for me. I miss being pregnant so I am lapping up your journey and enjoy hearing all about your pregnancy. Enjoy every second of it x

    March 2, 2017 at 6:15 am
  • Reply Tracy

    I always give my pregnant friends one piece of advice:
    Ignore EVERYONE’s opinions and advice. Only accept advice from your closest friends and family who share you same child raising beliefs and lifestyle. No-one else knows what is right for you, except YOU. It might sound cliché, but natural instinct is a thing that actually happens. I was so stressed about being a mom, but after my child was placed on my chest for the first time I had these profound little moments where I just knew what to do. It was crazy.

    I know you say that you were expecting the judgement for C-Section, but the funny thing is that I got judged when I said I wanted natural. You will never win/please everyone.

    Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us, feels like we can relive our pregnancies vicariously through you… and it’s AWESOME.

    March 2, 2017 at 7:36 am
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