The debate of whether to tell people you’re pregnant before the 12 week “safe zone” is always ongoing.

I know some have religious reasons and they don’t tell until the 12 weeks no matter what. The medical reason is usually because the first 12 weeks are your most critical and at the 12 week scan they check for any abnormalities, like Down Syndrome. Don’t get me wrong – all the weeks are critical, but the first 12 weeks are when the organs develop. It’s pretty insane to think that you have just about a developed baby, the size of a Kiwi fruit and the rest of the weeks baby continues to grow by getting bigger and stronger and more detailed.

We decided to tell our family and a handful of friends we see all the time before the 12 weeks were up. Everyone else, we waited for the 12 week scan, which we had on the 23rd of December.

Our decision for this ,was that if something had to happen and we miscarried, I’d want the support of my closest and not suffer in silence. In fact, it was an extremely anxious time because you suddenly realise how common miscarriages are and yet, you don’t realise how common they are because no one talks about it/ you wouldn’t know because people don’t make public announcements until 12 weeks. It’s tough. It feels like a parallel world – one that is unspoken of and yet so many people are in it.

In fact, I had 2 scares – 2 bleeds (thanks to the Fibroid and a cervical change) and both times when Sox and I were rushing to get to the Gynae, I was fighting back tears and trying to replace every fear with a positive thought and prayer.

The 28th October until the 25th of December, was the hardest time for me because I had this little secret growing inside of me, with so many bodily changes happening and I knew I had to keep it a secret, when all I wanted was to scream it from the rooftops. I mean lets get real…  ME!!!!??? The girl who shares almost every aspect of her life with you daily on this blog. I had to hide a lot.

Here are some of the things that I had to do while hiding my pregnancy:

• MC functions while wearing beautiful designer gowns, which is always a dream for me. However, this time, I was terrified that they wouldn’t fit because while I wasn’t technically showing, I was incredibly bloated from all the hormones and water retention. I was also absolutely exhausted. I have never felt tiredness like I have in pregnancy. For someone who usually doesn’t go to bed before 23:30, if I was awake at 9pm, it was amazing. When I had to MC events that only started at 20h30 (and I couldn’t drink coffee), it was a little tough. Looking back though, it was actually really fun. Luckily my energy is back now!

I loved how this Gavin Rajah dress draped and hugged all the right places, thanks Vikash for styling me!

• I guest presented on the Expresso Morning Show. It’s a 3 hour live show and in the mornings I was my most nauseous – luckily I never actually vomited – that would have made for interesting TV. I also needed to pee 100 x and it was difficult when doing a live show. I couldn’t drink coffee either, which gives you that extra perk so early in the morning. I swapped it out for caffeine free Rooibos tea (not my fave) and hoped no one would figure it out. I’m also really glad the nausea has gone – yay Second Trimester.
• I got an email with the most amazing opportunity – a dream come true. Women’s Health wanted to shoot me in a feature about Celebrities Weight Loss. Oh the irony of the timing! I was 7 and a half weeks pregnant and the first thing that happened was I widened. I was also severely bloated from the hormones and I was showing a bit of a paunch thanks to the 6cm Fibroid pushing my uterus out. I knew they would want to put me in a crop top to show off my non-existent abs. I panicked. I wanted to cry. Here was a dream come true opportunity and I wasn’t in my best shape. I kept thinking: Why couldn’t they have done this months ago when I was toned and ready? Did I cancel the shoot – knowing the opportunity might not come along again (I also have no idea how long it will truly take for baby weight to go), or just go for it and make the most of it?  I chose the latter. I had my manager ask for longer, flowy tops for me. If I am 100% honest with you, I’ll admit that I don’t love the pic they chose for the magazine – we took such cool shots, some were of me doing stretched out poses, some were jumping shots and I thought they’d use those instead of me being on a ball spread out. Sox says I’m being ridiculous and it’s a lovely shot, so perhaps it’s me being preggy sensitive and hormonal. Either way… I am extremely honoured and proud, because while I might not have been photo ready, I’m not taking anything away from all the hard work I have done to lose the weight. Thank you for featuring me… Besides, I will always find it awesome that I did a shoot for Women’s Health whilst pregnant (and no one knew.)
• Being in the first trimester during the festive season was the toughest. I had friends birthday parties, a friends Bachelorette Party, a Wedding and Christmas parties to attend, all while avoiding a glass of wine and trying not to make it obvious. If you say you aren’t drinking, the 101 Q’s come and people press you. Who goes on a detox during Christmas? Pregnant people, that’s who! I even thought of saying: “I’m on antibiotics and can’t drink.” Um, they’d see right through that too. The best way was to order a wine spritzer, hold onto it for a while and then swop it out for sparkling water in a wine glass and sip on that. No one really questioned my wine glass when they had seen me order a wine spritzer and assumed it was that all the time. One time I told a bar man (who was in on my secret) to make my “special wine spritzer” and he actually squeezed lemon juice in so it discoloured it and looked realistic – well sort of. Very clever. Or not so clever… apparently my friends all knew and there I was thinking I was up for an Oscar nomination 😉