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My Jozi Bachelorette

I can’t express how grateful I am to my mom and my bridesmaids for throwing me a bachelorette that I will never ever forget! I have 1000s of pictures and it was really difficult to consolidate a few for this post, so this post comes with 2 warnings:

  1. Sensitive viewers should come back tomorrow.
  2. Your fingers may be sore from all the scrolling through the photos.

20 February 2016:

I’ve woken up early… It’s Saturday morning and I would love to have a lie-in, only my bladder has woken me up at 07:03 and in dawning on what today is all about, I’m now too excited to get back to sleep. I should probably get more sleep, but I can’t.

There is a buzz in the air… My mom is trying to get me out of the house, secret phone calls are being made to my bridesmaids and whoever else she is talking to. I’ve been told I’m not allowed to answer the phone if it rings. When it does ring, she impressively hurdles over furniture to get to it in time and takes the cordless house phone and disappears into the garden.

I’m receiving Whatsapp messages from my girls… so far they’ve teased (I seriously hope) about packing a monkey costume. I’ve told them that I have my monkey accessories – my bridesmaids! Ha!

I’ve received pictures,  screenshot from my Instagram on what I need to wear and what I need to pack. So far, all I know is that I have to be ready by 2pm today.

Right… my Mom is getting impatient with me, so best I be getting out the house.

…… I’ve been allowed back in the house and it’s so hot I’m going to float around in the pool. The calm before the party storm.Bailey Schneider bikini

I’ve been told to be ready by 3pm. I’m SO EXCITED! My mom came into my childhood bedroom and tied a scarf around my eyes as a blindfold. “Surely I can get into the car first?” and my Mom replied: “Nope! You can’t see what’s in the car!”

We drove around for ages – I was trying to hard to figure out where we going but they threw some red herrings in.
Blindfolded in car copy

We finally arrived and I wobbled along feeling completely vulnerable as we went along.Blindfolded with Mom copy Walking in copy

Welcome copy Welcome hugs copyThey had decorated her home beautifully… Champagne with penis ice (obviously), beautiful orchid flowers hanging everywhere and my own Miss 2 Mrs photo wall, with props. The food table was set up with the naughtiest cupcakes, my sister had arranged, even though she was all the way in London! There was a box for everyone to leave their kinky bedroom secrets, drop their panties (haha) and a pressie bowl! It was amazing!Balloons copy Bedroom Tips copy Champagne copy Drop your panties copy Food copy

Mom's Famous Tuna Mousse

Mom’s Famous Tuna Mousse

Food table copy Glasses copy Panties copy Panty Drop copy Party copy Party2 copy Photo props copy pick a dick cupcakes copyclose up cupcake copyNaughty cookies copy Pink shot glasses copy Pressies copy Sweets copyMy bridesmaids, Karolina, Lucia and Tandi organised a sash…Mrs G to be copyBeing Sashed 2 copyBeing sashed copySince my little sister couldn’t be there to join us, she had still done amazing work in helping Karolina and Lucia is the planning of the party. We Skyped her and it was hilarious having her face on the iPad, on a couch, being a part of the party. They’ve just moved into their new apartment and don’t have wine glasses yet, so she was sipping wine from a mug. Every so often we would see a bowl of soup being enjoyed and then a big bowl of popcorn came out! It was hilarious and a memory I’ll never ever forget!Setting up my sister copyTandis popcorn on skype copy Tandi on skpe copy Skype copyBridesmaids skype copy We settled down and I was asked a series of Questions, that Sox had been asked. I had to answer what I thought he had answered. If I got it right, I could open a gift. Get it wrong and it’s a shot of Strawberry Lips.

You can see on my face that I’m intrigued by the questions…Answering Qs2 copy Answering Qs copyLaughter 4 copyLaughter 5 copyLaughter 6 copyMom and Tandi Gift copy MCB copy Lucia Love copy Lucia and Bailey copy Lingerie copy Laughter copy Laughter 3 copy Laughter 2 copyMy mom made this Panty card from my sister and her… so cute!Panties Card copyOpening gifts copy KLIR copy Katia and twins copy Katia and Ingi copy Karolina copy Jacqui Hugs copy Jacqui copy Ismini hugs copy IBRI copy gifts copy This was pretty amazing and I was rendered speechless… Everyone in Cape Town and Johannesburg had submitted their Date Ideas. This beautiful book was created with each persons date idea and then a space for me to write the date and paste a photo of the date being completed! Absolutely incredible and so sentimental! I had such a lump in my throat!
Date Ideas Book 1 copyDate Ideas Book copy Cheers copy Beauties copy Bailz copy Bailey Laughing copy Bailey copyReading Date Ideas copy

There were 4 bags I had to choose from and inside there were handcuffs, a cop badge, bunny ears and penis earrings. I had to wear it all and do dances! Pick a bag copyBag4 copyB2B copy Naughty copy Rene Hugs copy Rene Kisses copyAunty Karen and I copy Aunty Karen copy Mom and I copy Miss2Mrs copy Me and my girls copy Lucia copy kisses for mom copy KB2 copy Ismini and Bailz copy Bffs copy Ismini kisses copy Bridetobe copy Karolina copy Christian copy KB copy IBRI copy Besties copy Besties 2 copy Beauties copy Baileys Bachelorette copy Twins copy Twins and B copy Orchard kisses copy No idea copy Naughty earrings copy My loves copy My girls 3 copy My bests copy Mugshot copyAfter an incredible afternoon, I was whisked upstairs to change into my outfit for the evening!

I was told to bring heels, sexy jeans – so I brought my Freddy jeans and a top to go out in. I found this peplum hot pink top from Nicci Boutique (and it was on sale – bonus!)

I was given a Barf Bag – hilarious, a Bachelorette hangover bag and then I was given white Angel wings to add and those metallic tattoos that all us girls applied. Barf bag copyArms copy B copy Bailey Angel copyI was ushered out into an Uber Van and headed off to the next secret destination…

We arrived in Illovo and went straight into Beefcakes! So bloody exciting because it’s such a fun party! Build your own burgers were served, champagne and wine was flowing, a few shots were thrown in for good measure and before I knew it, I was whisked up on stage (with the other bachelorettes) by the very fabulous Drag Queen Holly Diamond.Brides to BeThe Vamps gave us a show that was absolutely brilliant. Their legs! Their sexiness! Sigh! We were all wishing we could have alter-egos as drag queens!
Baileys Queens copyOur waiter, Simon was a sweetheart and he made sure we had our glasses charged (without his shirt on!)Simon copy

My feet were sore from dancing and my cheeks were sore from the laughing! It was BRILLIANT!

Aunty Karen and Mom copy

Bailey Angel Bunny copy Baileys Angels copy Beef waiters copy Beefcakes bridesmaids copy Beefcakes Waiters copy Bernice and Romy copy Burger copy Girls at Beefcakes copy Girls copy Waiters copyHere was the invitation (I’ve removed the home address)Invitation for Bachelorette copyI got tipsy happy and had the best night! The hangover the next day was worth it!

I wish I had the words to express how thankful I am! Thank you Mom, Tandi, Karolina, Lucia, Katia, Christian, Jacqui, Morgan, Ingrid, Bernice, Ismini, Rene, Romy, Aunty Karen and Tammy. I just want to thank you all for making my Bachelorette a party I will never ever forget! I still have sore cheeks from all the smiling and laughing today!

I believe I have a Cape Town Bachelorette coming up this weekend some time! I am officially the luckiest girl (even though my liver doesn’t think so!) x

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7 Comments

  • Reply Wedaad

    So super awesome!!! Enjoy the countdown and all the festivities that come with it!! So very excited for you xxx

    February 22, 2016 at 3:53 pm
  • Reply Rene

    I love your blog and I loved spending the day with you! I cannot wait to see you as the gorgeous bride I know you will be! Xxx

    February 22, 2016 at 5:33 pm
  • Reply Karolina

    My bunny you are the most precious friend I could have ever asked for! I love you completely and my heart sings with love and joy to see you so happy!! You deserve this and soon much more! I can not wait for the “I Do’s”. I however am going to have get a hold of THE BEST waterproof mascara money can buy so that I don’t ruin your wedding photos looking like a RACOON!!!! Hahahahaha! 😀 Love ya! K

    February 22, 2016 at 6:00 pm
  • Reply Natasha Viljoen

    Oh wow, such a fun day! And the happiness just radiates out of you!
    Good luck for the last few days before the I do’s 🙂

    February 23, 2016 at 6:22 am
  • Reply Bernice Dos Ramos

    All I want to do is re-live the entire day with you! But my most precious moment had to be witnessing your morning coffe song to Sox.. I’m speechless, that has to be the cutest thing in the world!!!! Love you madly, and loved every minute of your bachalorette❤️

    February 23, 2016 at 7:09 pm
  • Reply Vanilla Blonde - My CT Bachelorette - Vanilla Blonde

    […] best friends ever! I can’t believe I got to have not one but two Bachelorette Parties! One in Jozi and one in Cape […]

    February 29, 2016 at 5:19 am
  • Reply Megan Hartwig

    Such a divine party planned by all those so near and dear to you 😉 Looked like you all had such an AMAZING time! xx

    February 29, 2016 at 10:57 am
  • Leave a Reply to Megan Hartwig Cancel Reply