I’m writing this from a hospital bed, in the Maternity ward. My hand has a drip in it, which is making typing a little more challenging. I can hear the cheerful nurses outside attending to someones ringing bell, a newborn baby is crying and I can hear the birds chirping outside my window.

I, however, am not here to give birth. Well, let’s hope it’s not today, please.

Early on Monday morning at around 2am, I woke up with severe cramping in my lower abdomen and pelvic area. It ran all the way around my lower back and then down my leg. I wasn’t sure if it was a nerve, so I tried to change positions in bed. Eventually the pain was so bad, I couldn’t lie down or sit, so I started pacing in our bedroom, in the dark. The pain would then subside for a few minutes, I’d climb back into bed, but minutes later the pain would come back and stronger.

Since I have no idea what to expect, I was wondering if it was contractions? I haven’t experienced Braxton Hicks yet and apparently they aren’t meant to be sore. This carried on for about 40 minutes.

I don’t know why I allowed myself to get to 40 mins of pain… I think, as women, we tend to not want to over react or be dramatic. It’s so silly.

Eventually, I woke Sox up and told him that something was wrong and we needed to get to hospital. Poor guy jumped out of bed so fast! At that point, the pain was so severe it made me involuntarily vomit. I wasn’t nauseous, but my body reacted this way to the pain and since I didn’t have anything to throw up, it was bile and saliva. Lovely.

The irony is that on the Friday, I had this thought that I should start getting the items I need for my hospital bag ready and now here I was kicking myself for not listening to my gut. Sox helped me get into a dress quickly and off we rushed. I took nothing with me and I even forgot my cellphone.

Sox auditioned for Fast and the Furious 9 – even though he was super cautious in getting us to the hospital and it’s amazing when you’re in pain, how you feel every bump. Roads that are usually smooth, suddenly feel like you’re off road. I took a bowl in the car with me and continued vomiting each time the pain got unbearable. I felt dizzy.

We got to Emergency and a wheelchair was rushed out for me and off we went. They checked me for urinary and kidney infections, but everything came back clear, as I had expected. I knew it was the Fibroid. My Gynae had warned me that this could happen and he said I would know all about the pain if the Fibroid started to bleed or squash. I just wasn’t sure what this meant for the baby and of course I was really scared.

I didn’t know what to do with myself… I couldn’t lie, I couldn’t sit, I couldn’t stand… it was unbearable. They popped me on a drip with Panado. Panado! I wanted to laugh… but when your body hasn’t been getting anything, it’s pretty pure and something that ordinarily would have been like taking smarties for me, started working within 10 minutes. They also strapped my belly up to a monitor to ensure I wasn’t having contractions and also to monitor Baby G’s heartbeat and ensure he wasn’t under any stress. It was a relief to hear his solid, strong heartbeat and even though I was in so much pain, he wasn’t in any distress at all. It made me feel so much better. My amazing little boy!

As the drip took affect, I finally managed to find a comfortable position and they eventually moved me from Emergency to the Maternity Ward. Sox stayed over and actually climbed into my hospital bed with me. My Gynae woke us both up at around 7am. It was such a funny moment. Sox jumped up and we both acted like busted, naughty teenagers for being in the same bed. It was so ridiculously funny. He arranged a wheelchair and I was wheeled to his rooms for a scan to see what was happening.

In a nutshell:

Make 2 fists and put them together side by side. 1 fist is Baby G’s head. The other fist is my Fibroid. The Fibroid has grown another cm – it’s now 7cm. Baby G is in the perfect position for natural birth (Murphy’s Law), low down at my cervix and pelvis. As Baby G continues to grow, his head is putting pressure on the Fibroid that has nowhere to go, so it will either start to bleed (immense pain) or worst case scenario burst, in which case, the pain will be so severe I’ll probably need to be in ICU and Baby G will need to be born as an emergency.

The pain I felt was just the pressure of his head pressing on it and squashing the Fibroid. I don’t want to know what it must feel like if it bursts.

We have been wanting to do a C-section at 38 weeks, 22 June, but with this situation now, my Gynae has said we need to be realistic and prepare for a 34 week birth. I have been given a cortisone injection, as an insurance policy. It helps speed up the development of his lungs, if he does come earlier. I want to cry because the pregnancy alone has been a textbook pregnancy, according to my doc. Baby G is healthy and ahead of his growth curve. At 29 weeks and 5 days he weighs 1.7kgs. He is in the perfect natural birthing position and I couldn’t be more grateful for a healthy pregnancy. The problem is me and my condition of the Fibroid and whether I will be able to continue carrying him as I manage the pain and whether the Fibroid behaves or not.

It is very frustrating being so helpless. There is nothing anyone can do. I feel very emotional about it, but I am doing my best to stay positive and praying that everything will be as it’s meant to be and that he will come out when it is his right time!

I’m receiving my second cortisone injection just now for Baby G’s lungs and then hopefully being discharged. I have to say the staff and nurses at Medical Clinic Cape Town have been unbelievable and it’s made me feel comfortable and good to know I’ll be so well cared for, when I am back here to birth Baby G.

Oh and the hospital food is actually really good… I’m being placed on bed rest to take the pressure off my cervix and pelvis, and it will feel good to go home, shower, get into fresh pajamas and get into my own bed.

Tomorrow I’m 30 weeks and I’m praying for a longer pregnancy! Sox and my Mantra has always been: Everything is exactly as it should be!

Positivity all the way!